Well, that was (un)expected?

People like drunks. Soap, not so much.

I refuse to self-identify as a Substacker until a few benchmarks have been passed. The first such hurdle would be having enough people read what I write and enjoy it to make that moniker remotely plausible.

I am incredibly suspect of the concept as a whole. I have always been motivated by the idea that the goal in this American life is to be wealthy and anonymous. I have never achieved either in my estimation, but have touched their edges from time to time. Substack(ing?) feels to me like the pursuit of the opposite. Be increasingly visible and embrace a life of austerity. Half the memes I see about Substack are about growth of readers, and the lack of renumeration there abouts. Maybe its just my feed or whatever one calls it on here, but that is what I see.

I made my first post a few days ago at like 4am, in a kind of dissociative fugue. It started as an exercise to familiarize myself with the platform and its capabilities. Hoping that maybe if I knew how to layout a substack, it would turn into a way to make money by helping others get theirs in shape visually.

I have always been a “sell the shovels” kind guy when it comes to the creative space. I am a designer by trade and since becoming unemployed earlier this year, I have found the job market disinterested in what I have to offer so one starts looking about for the makings of the money.

“I liked it better when ‘going viral’ caused people to disinfect their body cavities.”

ME - during Covid probably

However, for some reason people have seemed more interested in the content of the post, rather than the appearance or design. A friend of mine told me this might be the case, but no matter how much I trust her judgment on things literary and whot not, it seemed implausible.

In the grand scheme of the Substack universe, what came next is probably nothing too exceptional. But for me it was a MUCH stronger response than I would have ever thought. I am entirely used to just dumping my thoughts into the void that is a comment section, google doc, or email of dubious destination. By comparison this was, a lot.

I feel my type of thinking (and volume of speaking) truly benefits from having little or no audience. My thoughts on politics, culture, and life in general are only tolerable to my friends as far as I can tell. I try to keep from bothering people who aren’t signing up for it.

Bartender: Where do you stand on abortion?

DrunkMe: I think it should be mandatory, and you should get free refills.

I had at the time of writing 41 subscribers and my first post has about 1,800 views. It’s weird, I just picture myself sitting in a theater with some two thousand strangers looking over my shoulder as I eat glue and play with Duplo blocks. A novel experience. As with most experiences, the second time is measurably less… revelatory, one should lower expectations.

I chose my next post to be about soap.

Me with my newly found audience.

I stand by that choice. They say one should “write their passion”. But clearly my passion is… niche. I am not passionate about soap so much as about complaining. I feel it is my super power, right along side drinking and avoiding emotional responsibility. It is totally understandable that folks would see a post about soap and keep on steppin’. I get it.

That post currently has 51 views, which is… a step down. So, one must adjust to circumstances. Recalibrate. Drink with intent. With my newly invigorated humility I bring the question to you, my 41 possibly bot, possibly sympathy readers;

What is it that you like reading about that I might (in theory) be capable of writing about?

Rather than just leave it open, in the interest of further understanding this platform, I will use a poll! Of the following topics currently occupying the rats nest in my head, which would you find appealing enough to read.

Okey doke, well I hope all 41 of you “engage” with the above. You owe me nothing, my void dwelling followers. Feel free to shuffle on about your day with a clear conscience / conscious. I shall await the results (if any) and respond accordingly at my leisure.

Thank you for your time OR no problem I understand.