I guess, why not?

I don’t feel a writer. I have written often, but most of it either ends up lost in Google Docs amongst many other “Untitiled” screeds, or if I am either particularly motivated / intoxicated. Occasionally the ranting will end up in the comment section somewhere or a incredibly long email cast into the void to places like the Irish Spring product division, or the info@wherever of some public thinker person. Posting on here was a bit of a leap for me, and generally the feeling I had about doing it was embarrassment. I don’t know why, but any other feeling doesn’t quite feel fit to describe it.

Anywho, the response was mostly positive and of the encouragement variety. So as a buddy often says;

People change I guess...

I have always kind of fluctuated to match my environment. When I was a kid, I made friends with kids who had parents and swimming pools. They did things like have lunch in summer, have hobbies, chores and allowances. As I got a little older and was in various states of broke, homeless, or stupid I tended to dress like I went to college and had some money. When I felt like I was a lifer construction guy, I spent a lot of time reading, thinking, and talking out of my ass so far as I can tell.

From there I spent time around art and music folks, moving in and out of “scenes”. There were some ladies, and some good friends made, but it’s mostly a blur.

When I was doing a bit better in life I leaned more towards my traditional other-side-of-the-tracks hillbilly upbringings. I don’t think I was ever an “outsider” per se, I just kinda disliked being predictable, or admitting some level of success. I am not entirely sure why I did this, but with some hindsight I am pretty sure it wasn’t fully intentional.

These days I feel a bit like I am in spectator mode. I intentionally make an effort to put myself out there, and take chances on things just to fight off the great killer of middle aged men, nihilism. The distribution of positive outcomes for unmarried, childless, socially distant men is pretty slim. I don’t have it in me to be some kind of serial killer, and so far as I can tell the domestic terrorist thing is not my jam, mostly due to playing dress up and what not, so maybe cosplaying as “old man yells at clouds” on the internet will be a nice role to slide into.

I have no idea what I will do with this writing thing. I tend to have only a couple hobbies at a time, one of which is always doodles. So who knows?

I am currently out of work, so I have to do something to keep myself in the game and limber. Maybe this will help with that.

Ok, so I guess that is it. Subscribe if you like, but in many ways if what I am putting out here isn’t valuable enough for you to remember to check in occasionally, I wager you have other things more worth doing.

Thanks for dropping by.